Family Pictures

We haven't had the best Christmas Break, but as I don't really want to talk about it now I thought I would share a few of our family pictures. My friend from high school takes pictures, and does an amazing job. For a year or more I have been wanting her to take some family pictures, but we never seem to be in Henderson at the same time. This year on Christmas Day we had our pictures taken, and I love them. Also, thank you Mare for letting us use your house. Here are a few:

Sorry and Girls

Why is it that a child knows the gravity of the word sorry before they can even speak? Luke refuses to say sorry. A couple months ago when we started prompting him to say or sign it when he hurt Thomas or us he refused. We thought it was just that he couldn't talk so we let it slide with a reminder to him that he needed to say sorry when he made someone sad or hurt them. We tried teaching him the sign and again he refused to even lift his hand. Maybe he just didn't understand or maybe he didn't like being forced to try to speak. However, we noticed and had been noticing something from the very beginning, he understood sorry was in someway admitting a defeat or acknowledging you were wrong because he would turn down his eyes or turn his head away. When we would give up he would get this smile on his face that said-- I won. I would put Luke in timeout if he refused to say sorry and he would scream and cry and throw a fit, but still refuse to say sorry. I would leave him in there for a couple rounds of timeout just to show him that saying sorry is important, but still he refused. A couple times he has even said no when we tell him to say sorry. We tried modifying it to just give a hug and kiss. He would not even do this. He would however, find a nearby toy and kiss or hug that. Pete asked Luke to show Thomas how to say sorry and Luke signed it-- but on Thomas-this way Luke was still not saying it.  He had thrown a toy at Pete but refused to say sorry to Pete but he did pick up the toy, after quite a few minutes, and sign sorry on the toy. When he broke Pete's coffee pot yesterday we told him to say sorry and all we got was the eyes turned down look. The child is stubborn. He might beat us yet.

Jack is discovering that girls are different. Jack got his class pictures taken last month and in the package was a picture of the entire class. Right away he started carrying it around everywhere. He was naming off everyone in the picture, but seemed to be focusing a lot on the girls. Then he started asking which girl I thought was the prettiest. At first I thought that he had a favorite and was intrigued to find out where this was going so I didn't discourage it right away. Then he began listing them in order from prettiest to least. I could see that things were going down hill fast. He asked me to do the same. I tried to say that just because a girl is pretty doesn't mean that she is nice so liking girls just because they are pretty isn't the best thing to do. He informed me that all the girls were nice so would I tell him which was the prettiest? I was not handling this in the best way. Then I found out from the group of girls themselves that he had been calling them names. These girls were not pleased because they had asked him to stop and he wouldn't. These names were things like Buttons and Zip-Zap. I tried to explain that girls don't think these things are funny, they don't like it, and it could hurt their feelings and it wasn't our job  to make people feel bad. Pete has also had some talks with him. I really can't tell if we are making headway. I do know that he saw some college cheerleaders on tv over the weekend and said--'Look Mom, Girls.'

Oh my...

Did you know that the mere sound of crying is enough to make a person exhausted? If you doubt it, please move in with us so I can prove it to you. Thomas only wants to be held lately, and while yes, these moments don't last forever, they sometimes feel like forever. He was able to roll from tummy to back awhile ago, but it was only done occasionally. Now every time he is on his stomach he rolls to his back and it freaks him out. He sleeps on his stomach so last night was not pleasant, every couple hours you would hear frantic screaming and crying. Note to Thomas-- Child, you have to learn to roll back the other way.

This morning while I was preparing our crockpot dinner, with a crying baby strapped to my chest,  Jack got out his light saber and began to taunt our dog. Poor Tigran, every few minutes I would see him run into the kitchen and through to the bathroom only to be followed by Jack and his light saber. It took me a couple times of this happening to fully register it. As a mother of boys I get the privilege of saying things like-- Jack, stop chasing the dog with your light saber! I did end up taking it away, only to have him get the other one out.

Luke is also going through a stage. It is a huge pain in the butt stage, and I really am not 100% sure what to do. He acts like he wants to be potty trained-- he isn't 2 yet. He takes off his clothes and diaper all the time, he goes into the bathroom and is constantly sitting on the potty seat because he wants to. I haven't seen him use he potty yet, but he has done it a handful of times with other people. At nap time or when I go to get him out of bed in the morning I find him stark naked. At first he was just peeing in his bed, but now he is also pooping in his bed! This means lots of laundry and baths. It also means trying to figure out what to do about this situation. We blame ourselves because prior to this he wasn't telling us at all when he had pooped so sometimes he would go a couple hours before we realized it, and the result would be a severe diaper rash. I think he got tired of having to wait for his parents to change his diaper. He hates wearing a diaper now. He throws a huge fit when I go to put one on him, and is usually sans diaper within the hour. I got out Jack's old underwear and put those on him and he was so excited, but he just peed in them and demanded another pair. I keep putting him on the potty since he keeps asking, but he just sits there and then gets up and goes to pee in Jack's room or someplace else. It is a huge headache. I don't want to potty train him, I don't think he is really ready, but he hates wearing his diaper and keeps taking it off to pee around the house, and apparently he has no issues with pooping in his bed.

Luke and Jack played a game last night called, throw all of the memory cards in the Christmas tree. I found a least 30 in the tree. They were also playing next to each other when Jack started to punch Luke's back, he didn't realize I was watching, then Luke got mad so he pushed Jack then grabbed the lid to the memory game and started hitting Jack in the head with it. Jack began to tattle on Luke only to have me tell him he started it and if Luke wants to defend himself he has every right. Jack was none to pleased.

Today in the car, Jack was telling me how some of the kids were throwing snowballs, and he got hit in the face. I asked if he threw snowballs back - he said,  "Mom,  revenge isn't allowed at school."

Ornaments, Hair, and Passports

I forgot about kids and ornaments- Luke thinks the round ones are actual balls and he throws them down the hall. He took one off the tree, and while the front door was open, he threw it hard onto the porch-of course it broke. We have since moved all ornaments up so the top half is quite full of ornaments and the bottom is bare- it looks pretty funny.

 Jack and Luke were playing with our Little People Nativity set while I was nursing Thomas in the other room, and I hear, "Mom, Luke is smacking those wise men's camels!" It made me laugh. We had to put up the baby Jesus figure from the Nativity set because he kept being launched, and I felt a little weird about condoning the launching of Jesus into the manger in order to explode it.

At aerobics the instructor has added a few Christmas songs to the mix, and when Last Christmas came on Jack said, "Oh Mom, this is my favorite song!" He started singing along, and the instructor looked at me and laughed pretty hard.

I changed my hair color-I haven't adjusted yet- I don't think I like it. Pete keeps telling me I am the only person who even notices the color is that different. I changed it because I don't have the time or the means to keep up blonde hair and end up with 2 inches of darker hair at the top before I have it fixed. Plus, I knew when we moved I probably wouldn't have the nerve to make a hair appointment for awhile so I had them match the color to my roots so it will be close to my natural hair color ( a color I haven't seen since high school). Pete believes this is a more sensible look for a 30-year-old mother of 3 with little time to sit in a stylist's chair for two hours- maybe he's right, but right now I miss my blonde hair-even if I am the only one who notices the difference.

We got our passports a couple weeks ago. It was very exciting actually. After not getting anywhere with my emails to the consulate I finally got a a few responses on the same day- they told us not to get a visa before we move because Americans can live in Germany for 90 days before they need a visa. This will give us time to find housing and get the university to help us. We are looking for housing now and so far everything is quite small and quite expensive, and we may have to live just outside the city. I have looked at plane tickets and we know when we are leaving so that makes it more real. After Christmas break we are going to start doing things like talking to the bank about international banking, talk to the cell phone company about turning off service, getting medical records, making sure the kids have gone to the doctor and we get their records, and loads more. The next few months are going to go by fast.

A day in my life

What Luke was up to:
-we take a shower and I put a diaper on Luke but no clothes. He goes in his room and starts playing with toys. I start doing laundry. Jack comes in to tell me that there is gross stuff on Luke's floor. I walk in there and Luke's diaper is off and completely clean but there is poop on floor, his chair, and his hands and feet-nice.
-demands cup, throws it, I put it up, he throws a fit,  I ask him to say please, he does, I give it to him, he screams and shoves it back in my face, I put it up--- repeat.
-excited to play with dinosaur toy that moves, I am not so excited so I ask him to turn it on, he can't, gets mad, fine I turn the thing on, smiles real big, hands it to me, um......what do you want?, I turn it off, he screams, I turn it on, he cries, I hand it to him, he hands it to me, I hand it back, he throws it, I turn it off and put it up, and he runs down the hall and throws himself on the floor. I still don't know what he wanted.

What Thomas was up to:
Thomas wakes up and is cute and sweet, then begins to cry, I put him to bed but he only sleeps for 20-30 minutes, get him up and he cries when he is held, cries when he is being bounced, swayed, and rocked, cries when he is in his chair, cries on his stomach, cries on his back, so I feed him again. He is fine for a bit, but he wasn't that hungry to start with so he gets cranky again pretty soon. Finally, he falls asleep from crying. I put him in bed(I moved him to bed only because he fell asleep on me) and he cries- I let him cry for a bit but he doesn't calm down. I get him out and he is pretty good for about 10 minutes then we start the whole crying thing again. Grrr.....!!!!!! Then he falls asleep on me and I realize that I am just going to be confined to the couch today because if I move him at all he will cry. He sleeps for a bit but I am just sitting on the couch not able to do anything. He wakes up, I feed him, then I have to finish doing the laundry I started while Luke was busy pooping on his floor. He starts screaming and crying. I ignore him because I have clothes to put away. When I go back to him he is bright red and covered in sweat. I put him on the floor mat for a bit and this works but now Luke is going crazy about his cup and dinosaur.

Let's just say it was one or the other or both all day long!!!!!!

Science

Science Experiments- The top picture is corn syrup, cooking oil, and water. The second picture is right after we added the bleach, and the third picture is about 3 minutes after we added the bleach. You get to learn about density, how color works, and even bleach- at least if you live in our house you do.

We also played with non-Newtonian fluid one night. I took a video but Jack is not dressed enough to share. Sorry. It is pretty fun and I suggest you try it with your kids- you just need corn starch and water, we added green food coloring to ours.


We have Jack doing science and we have Luke being destructive: he threw a book Pete was reading into the toilet while someone was urinating. Pete's glasses are a little broken. He is constantly pouring liquids on the table, floor, himself, etc. He likes to unroll dirty diapers. He likes to get stuff out of the garbage and eat it. He screams a lot and just for fun- really- he likes to just scream randomly. The child just can't quite master walking so he falls down all the time or he forgets that steps are there and just walks straight out and falls. When you tell him to stop or say no he either ignores you or just stares at you then resumes what he was doing. He throws real fits but then he throws these little fits that are so pitiful- he will lie down face to the floor and just stay like that without noise or movement. I have to say the silent fits usually get my attention far more than the yelling and screaming ones. He is so cute you forgive him pretty fast. Plus, when he is really tired he grabs your hand and has you rub his foot-how can you stay mad?

Stress

Since we found out that we are moving in April vs. 'the summer' I  feel constantly overwhelmed. I thought Jack would be able to finish the full year of preschool before we moved, but now he may not return after Spring Break since we will want to take a couple of weeks to spend time with our family before we leave the country. It isn't a big deal, but it still makes me sad. Another thing that has been on my mind lately is what to do with our stuff. We weren't going to ship anything, but then I wondered how we would tote 3 kids and lots of suitcases through a new town where we don't know the language, so I decided we would suck it up and ship clothes, books, toys, and a few other things we may need. Then I decided I wanted to get a Kindle Fire for Christmas so it was decided we shouldn't ship books because we could put them on the Kindle plus they have books in English on Amazon.de that we could buy cheaper than what it would cost to ship books. Sigh.... now we are back to not shipping anything since we can pack a few toys and clothes then buy whatever else we need once we get there. We are being paid Euros so that makes things a bit easier. We don't really want to have to deal with a storage unit so I think we will get rid of most of our stuff before we move. We really have no idea how long we will be overseas so it doesn't seem worth it-- especially since we don't own really nice things as we are a graduate school family. The next concern is what to do with our van. I keep going back and forth and probably will for a long time. If I only knew how long we would be there that would help, if it is just a year we would definitely keep it but if we are going for 5 years then we would do better to sell it.

Oh well, I did check out German language cds that I have been listening to in the car. One big thing we have actually accomplished is mailing off the stuff for passports. Yay!! That is a huge relief. Once we get them it will be time to work on getting visas. Wouldn't it be nice if moving to a new country wasn't so stressful?

Well besides being stressed about moving we have done a few fun things. We went to the library for Family Fun Day. They had free books to give away, a balloon artist, cupcake walk, snacks, science experiment demonstrations, storytelling, rides on the Boilermaker Special, and a few other things. It was a lot of fun. The next day Jack's school had an Open House, and we got to eat some of the pumpkin bread/pie the kids made earlier that day. Jack apparently helped a lot in making the pumpkin bread-he does like to help bake things. They also had a book fair going on. I had signed up to help, but Thomas doesn't really like to take a bottle so Pete went instead. He got to 'gossip' with the secretaries.

The boys have been going through a test the boundaries stage. Luke is screaming, throwing, ignoring, and acting as if he decided to turn 2 a few months early. Jack is going through a being mad at everyone stage and if he can't be mad at us then obviously we hate him-it has to be one or the other. It is frustrating and makes going places with the two of them pretty difficult. Thomas doesn't like to take a bottle so for Pete that is hard, but when he is with me he is pretty cute. The past few days he has been more interactive-smiling and cooing.

Halloween PIctures

Happy Halloween!! Jack was Harry Potter. He looked great and thanks Jamie for making his scarf! Luke was a football player and Thomas was a football. Thanks Heather for letting us borrow the costume. We went to Morehead and stayed out for about an hour then headed home to eat the loot. It was lots of fun. Thanks G and P and Big L for hanging out with us on Halloween!!!

old-hat/new-hat

I think back to when Jack was 18months-2 years old and his antics would send me to the phone so I could immediately inform Pete what HIS son did. Now I feel like some things are old-hat. When Luke takes off his pants and diaper to pee on the floor- sorry but I've been there before. When he throws a fit because he doesn't want milk, he is done with lunch after one bite, or dog food is better on the floor than in Tigran's bowl I just say: you don't have to drink or eat it but you don't get anything else, you throw the food on floor you need to help clean it up(unless Tigran helps first), and as far as the fit throwing goes- I am sorry but I will probably just ignore you or stick you in your bed. I am used to books on the floor and spices hidden in drawers I don't expect. When you pushed me this morning because you got mad, or when toys go flying through the air, well you have to go to timeout. When you don't say sorry-- you have to stay in timeout longer. When you throw stuff in the sink or the toilet we just try to rearrange things on the sink in the bathroom so there isn't anything there for you to destroy. These things happen so often you don't even think about them once you get to child number 2. This stage of life tries your patience and temper, but you get used to it.

The next stage I know I will never get used to. When you see your child hurt by a friend and you can't do anything about it. When someone he thinks is a friend causes him to cry it tries your patience and temper, but now the focus has shifted. When he was two we had to protect him from himself, and now that he has entered school we want to protect him from the pain others can inflict, but it isn't within our ability. We can offer love, support, guidance, we can lead by example, show him how to react in situations, but sadly part of growing up means dealing with others and learning that people aren't always nice, even the people we call friends can be hurtful. I know the main thing we can do is show him how special he is, listen to him when he needs to talk, support him, be his advocate and provide a loving and safe home life, but your heart breaks and you feel helpless. 

The thing with parenting is once you figure one thing out, or at least have control over the situation, things change and you have to start all over.

Fall Fun Pictures

We do fall well here-- I think so at least. We have fun. Jack and Luke made ghosts and bats using paint and their hands and feet, we made witch hat cookies and ghost strawberries, made pumpkin cake, pumpkin cheesecake, and have gone to the pumpkin patch.

I got to chaperone Jack's field trip to the pumpkin patch- here he is on the wagon ride

Those pigs LOVED him. 

Love his face here--total happiness.

Cleaning out pumpkin- he wasn't overly thrilled with my rule that it was his pumpkin so he had to get the 'goop' out.

You can't really tell but Luke got to paint a small pumpkin 

This is supposed to be for Thomas, but Luke enjoys it far more than Thomas

This doesn't really look like Thomas, but it does show you some of his head lifting skill. He can roll onto his back too, but I haven't seen it yet-everyone else has :(

Our cat and JLT pumpkins

He looks so sweet

Picture of my dad's grandkids, but apparently they didn't want to look at the camera

Thoughts

*What do you do when your son asks why his best friend doesn't want to play or tells him that today he is friends with someone else? I know the friend doesn't mean anything bad by it and that by the end of the day or the next time they see each other they will be friends again, but Jack doesn't understand and to him it just hurts. If you are going to be a friend then you are a friend everyday. I know it is a phase kids go through where they think they can only be friends with one person at a time, but it still breaks your heart when you see that your kid is sad. 

*Today I was chaperone on Jack's field trip and on the wagon ride I sat next to a mom that I had seen a few times and we starting chatting, my hearing isn't the greatest so when she asked me a question I used context to respond, my response was an emphatic yes. The follow-up comment led me to realize I completely misunderstood what she said. She had asked if I was done after three boys, and while my YES! response made her laugh a bit, it wasn't what I intended. I then tried to amend my mistake by saying well maybe in a few years I will change my mind. I wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me I am done. People now ask if I am going to go for the girl. Well.... I want to say I went for the all boy line-up and got it so maybe I shouldn't push my luck.

*Lately, listening to the radio or reading magazines I have heard a lot of: so and so is thinking about having kids but they are ONLY 25. Hmm.. I was 25 when I had kids(Pete was 24). Or I hear people say they want to get married young like by 25 and I think well I was 23 when I got married. It irritates me that the media feels the need to determine when people should get married and have kids.

*I have come to learn that I am not a huge fan of the- Fairness Stage. Jack is very concerned about what is fair. 

B:Jack, get out of the kitchen

J: Squeezy needs to get out too. Come on Squeeze you need come.

B: You need to eat your food

J: Squeeze needs to eat his food too

B: You need to sit on your bottom and not lay down on the bus

J: But Maddox is doing it

It is quite stressful/annoying for mom to constantly have to justify and explain.

Life With Three

What is life like with 3 kids? Well, quite simply it is exhausting.
- Learning how to pay attention to all the kids is hard especially with a newborn that needs all of mom's attention.
-Diapers are everywhere!!!!!!!! Two kids in diapers is insane.
-Two kids who don't talk-- at times difficult- especially when you think if you just had the time then one of them would probably be talking more.
-Nap times are not synced at all so you go through the routine with one just to repeat two more times then have one wake up just as you finish. This equals= no down time.
-Or sometimes you get about 35 minutes and realize this is the only time you have during the day to wash dishes, fold clothes, put away toys, and etc.
-Having one child wish the baby were not there = constant vigilance or there is a chance new baby may actually be injured in someway.
-Having one child who can actually vocalize his needs is good but also makes you see that you aren't going to win mom of the year when he tells you that he just wants more positive attention.
-I have stopped drinking caffeine after 4pm so I can actually fall asleep around 9pm in order to get enough sleep.
-I have to drink two cokes as soon as I wake up and occasionally pop a few advil because I have a headache from lack of sleep.
- My husband insists that I have 1 beer with dinner to calm down.

Luke Happenings
- Luke may not talk but he is testing boundaries for sure! His big thing is the street or parking lots. He will walk to the end of our yard then look back and put the tip of his toes in the street to see what you will do.
-Luke hates holding hands. Hates it. He would much rather lay down in the parking lot and refuse to get up.
-When you say be gentle or don't touch the baby's head he will grab the baby's foot, look at you, and then squeeze as hard as he can.
-He takes his diaper off now.
-He put a whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet (at least he didn't flush)
-He knows enough to know that he doesn't want to say or sign sorry. After timeout we tell him to say sorry to Thomas and he shakes his head no.
-He has what we(Pete) calls the Becky Weigel temper. Sadly, it is true.
-We have noticed that when Jack isn't around Luke is much more willing to show us what he knows and even attempts to talk, so maybe having Jack in school and once the baby is a bit older, he will start talking and showing more of his interests to us. I have realized that he knows his shapes and many letter sounds, but I have only seen this when Jack is MIA.

Still we get out and have fun.