To my sister on her wedding day

On this big weekend for you dear sister I sit here wondering what I should say to you, how I can help you, or how to let you know there is love and support surrounding you. Your wedding is this weekend and that is so huge. I wish for you all the happiness in the world, but you already have a head start because watching you on your wedding day will be your daughter. She gets to witness her mom and dad officially uniting their lives together. There will be one person not there, and it is this omission in festivities that makes me so sad for you. On the weekend of not only your wedding, but also Mother's Day, your mom won't be there.

I would love to be able to share motherly wisdom, I want to know what she would have done or said so I can whisper it to you on this day, but she wasn't at my wedding either, so I have no clue how to invoke her spirit this weekend. Of course, even if I could, it is not the same as having her here. Sadly, you have already experienced a moment in a woman's life when she really wants her mom, the birth of her first child, especially, when you know that she would not have been judgmental, she would have understood, given love, support, and honesty in terms of what difficulties and joys lay ahead.

As the years pass I must say I remember her less and less, the actual memories get mixed in with the pictures and home videos. The thing I remember the most is how much she loved us. She listened to us go on and on, she saw the best in us at our worst, she laughed with us, hugged us, and rubbed our kisses in at night. She was someone who was fiercely loyal and would have gone down swinging in order to protect us or help us out of any situation.

The things I remember most about her I see in you. You love passionately, you work hard, you are devoted to family, you have known sorrow, pain, and hardship but you have not dwelt on it; you still have the ability to laugh and enjoy life.

Mom gave you the blessing or the burden , depending on the day, of having many siblings. So that no matter where you go in life you will always be judged and talked about behind your back. ;p You will also always have a built in support system, cheerleaders, advice givers, and listeners.

In dying early, in not being able to participate in the big moments of our lives, I feel like mom taught us the value of time. We don't know how much time we get in this life,we don't know how many chances we have to hug, kiss, snuggle, make memories, laugh, listen, and show affection. So as long as take this with you everyday I know that you will have a wonderful and blessed life.