Monday, October 10, 2016

Mothers of Boys Need to be Concerned About These Sexist Comments

Men at times may talk like that, but that doesn’t make it ok. It doesn’t mean I will in any way accept that as an excuse, I will not try to rationalize these type of comments, nor will I accept any rationalization of his comments, and I certainly will not vote or endorse a man who feels this type of talk is acceptable. The mere fact he spoke these words means he finds them to be suitable for conversation.

I am a woman, yes, and I am also a mother. I do have a daughter, and I want her to feel like she is more than just a beautiful face or a nice piece of ass. I want her kindness, creativity, intelligence, and fierce determination to be noticed, credited, and listed first. I don’t want her to feel second-class, voiceless, weak, or intimidated by any man. While I want my daughter to stand tall, I happen to be a mother to sons as well.

It is our job, my and my husband’s, to teach these boys how to be men. But it is my job to help shape and mold their opinion of women. They are the future, they are the ones who will help determine how the gender conversation is played out, if they see women only as breakable porcelain dolls, the future of women’s roles is society will be marginalized. I have to teach them women are more than objects to be used how you want, they are not just large breasts, beautiful legs, and a pretty face. They are humans, individuals, and Godly made. Women are more than their sexuality, and my sons need to see their strength, confidence, intelligence, and humor. I need to instill in them a respect for a woman’s opinions. I need to expose them to women in all fields and in all levels of leadership.They need to know at a basic human level if you disagree with someone the go to response should not be derogatory, this goes for males and females, there should be no distinction. It should not be said or felt that because a woman proves to be correct or in opposition to you that she is a screechy bitch. She is a person with a different view, that is it, proceed from there.


I fear a man running for our highest office who thinks of women as little more than table dressing or arm candy, not only for my daughter but for my sons as well. I fear they will be begin to emulate the behavior they see played out on a national stage. How much harder it will be to teach them to be decent humans. It is already hard, there are constant ads, songs, and shows exposing them to the idea that women are there to be objectified, and not only that, but women want to be objectified. If they do not hear from a role model, like a mother, that this is not true, but they do hear from political figures, athletes, or actors on a daily repeat saying  this is just how it is and women are fine with it, they are used to it, then our society remains stagnant. To move forward in these times I need to force my sons to question the norm, I need to speak up and say this is not ok, I need to make sure I do not sit quiet and idly by as they make rude jokes or rate girls in their class. I need to share my own experiences of fear and inappropriateness, and I need them to be willing to stand up not just for mom or sister, but any female. I need them to become good dads so they can teach their own children. Females can change the world, and I for one, plan on starting by raising my sons to treat females as human beings.

2 comments:

Traci said...

I appreciate this angle as I've been thinking of my own daughter. Our only. I'm praying we can raise her to have a sense about the integrity of the boys she dates. That she would only choose the ones who respect her and every other woman they come across.

Unknown said...

Hey, I went to Purdue with Pete and recently happened across this blog, and I just want to say that I love love love it. Your prose is so expressive, and reads effortlessly - you're one of the best writers I've come across in a long, long while.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but in the opinion of this total stranger you should absolutely think about writing in some sort of professional capacity. Pound out a novel or something - I'd sincerely read it. Wonderful, wonderful blog, wonderful voice and wonderful spark. You describe your struggles so well, I hope you feel you are getting the better of them, or at any rate that life with you and Pete, etc. is good.