Brush your teeth son

Mornings are a crazy time for every family. There are so many parts that must be put together so that everyone can get where they need to be. Some mornings it seems people wake up screaming, crying, yelling, rushing, and returning to the house more than once in an effort to start the day. 

My oldest son operates on his own time. I tell him he needs to brush his teeth and this results in eye rolling or being told that he brushed his teeth last night, so why does he really need to brush them again? When I remind him that the last time he went to the dentist he had 6 cavities because of this mentality and he says, “But I don’t have 6 cavities anymore.” Yes, because I spent a couple hundred dollars having them filled, so forgive me if I won’t let you skip out on brushing them this morning. He walks into the bathroom and closes the door, which worries me after the conversation we just had. I go and check on him - turns out he has just been staring at himself in the mirror. Again, I remind him to brush those teeth. About a minute later he walks out, which is too soon to be done brushing teeth, and I never heard the water turn on. Hmm… I ask him if he brushed his teeth and he looks at me and says, “Oh no, I forgot.” I mean WHAT?! REALLY?! How do you just forget that? We had this whole pre-toothbrushing conversation that involved him getting annoyed with me, there was that whole hey open the door and brush your teeth episode that literally just happened, and you forgot. He gets so irritated with my constantly reminding him to do everything, but obviously I need to. 

He likes to use the whole ‘but I did that yesterday’ excuse when it comes to getting ready in the mornings and not just with his teeth. He isn’t sure why he needs to change his clothes everyday. I admit that I am not a strong advocate of daily baths, so there are more than a few nights when he goes to bed with his clothes on( all that he ever wears are athletic pants and a t-shirt) and then wakes up thinking he is already dressed for the day. When I tell him he can’t wear that outfit to school again he just doesn’t understand why. He looks down and says, “There are no stains on it.” True, but you wore it yesterday. “What are you telling me, I have to change my clothes EVERY day?” Yes, that is exactly what I am telling you. 

These are basic things I am trying to teach my son before he leaves my house- you need to brush your teeth and change your clothes everyday. I won’t even get started on the fact that sometimes he won’t change socks until I lose it. I am not sure I will be successful, so to my future daughter-in- law, I am sorry. I did try.

Pokemon Conversations

My 8-year-old son is into Pokemon. He has the cards, watches the show, has stuffed animals, and through osmosis I have a general idea of what this world is all about. I must say I have never understood the appeal of Japanese animation, even as child when these cartoons would come on tv I was baffled by the large Bambi eyes, the sweat drops which appeared on the forehead, the way the facial expressions were over-exaggerated, and I would quickly change the channel. I am now paying for this as a mother, now Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Dragon Ball-Z, and Digimon are almost always on multiple times a week. My son likes to draw the characters, read the guide books, and form battles in his head. It should be noted that my son is a talker and will talk and talk and talk even if you just walk away from him, he will continue to talk. So one day I am just minding my business in the kitchen when he comes in talking about Basic Pokemon like Gyarados, Bulbasaur, and Weedle, and I know this is important to him and a big part of his world so I look at him and listen, I nod my head while he is telling me about their energy types which in my head become Earth, Wind, and Fire. This leads me to start thinking about Earth, Wind, and Fire songs, and do I actually know any, are they good, maybe I should go and listen to one after this conversation is over. Oh crap, I am supposed to be listening to the conversation, I should ask a question so it seems like I am paying attention. So who do these guys evolve into? He needs to know I am interested in what he is interested in, plus I used a word from the lexicon- I am so awesome. Now he is talking about Venusaur and points and battles against Butterfree.I feel like this conversation has lasted long enough now because I don’t know if I can pretend to be this interested in Pokemon anymore. What if this means he thinks I want to play the game or watch the shows? Oh no, I don’t think I can keep this up. I am not that good of a liar. Hmm, how do I get out this without seeming like a totally horrible mother? What is he talking about now? He is talking about the top ten best basic Pokemon. *I should add that he likes lists and rankings so I should have known we would end up here. He is going to ask me what I think. I don’t know the names of ten basic Pokemon. Crap.He is looking at me now. 

Son: So mom who do you think the most powerful basic Pokemon is?

Me: So you want to know my favorite basic Pokemon? Um, well, uh, I really like (looking around the room and seeing a Pokemon stuffed animal on the ground ) Squirtle. 

Son:Yeah that is a good one. Why did you pick him?

Me: (Looking at the stuffed animal to get clues about what Squirtle does) He has a shell for protection like a turtle and he can squirt water. He has a good offense and defense.

Son:Yeah, I think you are right

If I were a character in Japanese anime right now I would have sweat drops and an exaggerated smile. I know I can’t fake this anymore. That was too close, so since I am ahead right now in the being interested in what my kid is interested in game,I better call it quits. 

Me:This has been a great conversation but I have some stuff I need to finish up here. (even though when you came in I was just flipping through a magazine) Why don’t you watch an episode of Pokemon or look through your book and come up with more battles?

Son: Sure and I can tell you about it later ok?

Me: Yeah that sounds great.

That was close. I wonder how much longer he is going to be interested in Pokemon? Can I keep faking it? Well, I am at least going to count today a parenting victory.

I have this hammer, now what?

This morning I felt like the walls were caving in. I felt all the emotions just flood me all at once. Our washing machine is broken, it has been broken for over a week now, and as a family of 7 this is no small thing. Currently it looks as though our house is sick and throwing up clothes. Everywhere you go, look, or walk- clothes. Some kind of dirty, some just plain filthy, and some kind of damp and ew, and sure maybe putting those in the dryer would be a good idea, because the dryer still works, but they are also dirty so I feel like why? The house has become progressively dirtier in all areas because of this. The laundry hampers filled up days ago so the clothes are living in piles in every single room, and what is the point of straightening up rooms when they will still be dirty because there are dirty nasty clothes all over the place? 

The pieces are easy enough to replace so we ordered them online and didn’t spend the extra $10 dollars or so for fast shipping because we don’t have an extra $10 for fast shipping, and they weren’t Amazon Prime eligible unless I wanted to put that $10 toward the base price, and I didn’t, so I didn’t. Then the pieces came and one piece I put in but the screws are stripped and I couldn’t make them tight enough. Fine, let’s move on to the other piece which would be even easier to replace, but I couldn’t even get the second screw out. I wanted to cry, to sob, to runaway and never come back because of laundry. Not having anymore clean underwear really does get to you. I used a rubber band over the screwdriver, I put a dab of superglue in it, I tried all of our screwdrivers, and in the end I just stripped them more. Seeing the pieces just sitting there and knowing if I could just get those screws out then I could wash clothes was heartbreaking. I could stop tripping on clothes, and I might have a clean dish towel. I got out the drill and nothing. So I grabbed the pliers and bent and broke the piece giving me trouble, the screw was still there but now I could get the pliers wedged underneath and just turn until it came out- and it did. Now, I still need to buy new screws because those aren’t going back in, but I won. In spite of all the hurdles, in spite of the anger, the overwhelming sensation of no control( as mirrored by the state of my house), and in spite of no clear vision on how to proceed, I did it.

My kid pooped in the tub, I spilled a full beer all over the floor when trying to straighten up a little bit, another kid basically told me I was ruining his life because I pointed out that his pants were too small, were actually his little brother’s, and he should put on his own pants, I haven’t had my car for 3 days(my husband has been using it) so I couldn’t get to the store to buy new screws or ask handymen what to do, Google’s ideas failed me, I have had 3+ kids sick at the same time( probably because germ clothes are just everywhere), and I felt like I was drowning.

 I wanted to have control of something-anything.  Now I could just stop. Leave it there. But the last few months I have been struggling, an unsettling feeling swelling inside, a shift in my normal self, and I don’t know what it is exactly or what it means, but I feel it must mean something. I wonder if my outside is currently mirroring my inside. I have a lot happening inside and it is tearing me up and just like with my washing machine, I can’t seem to fix it, find the right parts, I don’t see how it will get fixed, and it seems if I just had the right tool it would be so easy to fix, I just need an adjustment maybe to move an inch higher or something but instead of something that would fix that, I have been given a hammer. That is it, just a hammer, no instructions, no clues, no tips, just a hammer. Now I have been holding this hammer, I have sort of swung it in the air for practice, but it doesn’t feel right, and I just want someone else to come in and make it better, but I suppose I am in need of seeing I can do it on my own, there must be some personal growth lesson hiding in there, and one day I hope to see it, but now I feel so lost and like I know this change is happening or about to, but it hasn’t yet and it just frustrates me, and is not great for my anxiety. Some of it has to do with faith, some a sense of purpose and direction, and some of it is the desire to financially help my family, and at the root of it I am beginning to feel that they are all three connected but I don’t see how, I can’t see it, and I just have this stupid hammer. Anyone who has ever seen me angry knows I shouldn't hold a hammer when I am angry- it wouldn’t turn out well for the walls and dishes.

So in the meantime I will go to Ace and buy some screws, I will put my washing machine back together tonight, I will do the laundry, and maybe during the mind-numbingness that is folding clothes I will have some epiphany. I should probably pull out my rosary too because the last few mornings I keep seeing different statues of Momma Mary while going on walks, and perhaps she is trying to get my attention.