The main thing is-- you just gotta show up

I was reading an article/blog entry on the top 30 things you need to know if you are a mom of boys. I mean I have 3 so that totally counts. Most of the stuff you know and do anyway,  and I am thinking to myself-- oh awesome, I do that, not that, but I do that--when I hear a thump from upstairs and know something/someone has fallen. I pause for a second waiting for a noise but hear nothing. Still, I figure since all the kids are in bed, I should check it out. Turns out Thomas has fallen out of bed and is quietly crying. I pick him up, give him a kiss, hold him tight, and rock him. I rock him until the crying lessens and then I get him a drink of water, kiss him again, and tuck him back in. I think to myself, I don't need to read an article on how to raise my boys-- I just need to raise them in a way that feels right to us. I am not always an awesome mom. Sometimes I spank, sometimes I threaten to spank(even when I have no intention of doing so) just because it makes them hustle a little faster, I yell a lot more than I should, I have lost my temper and cussed at them or near them, I have had my days (weeks) when I am just tired so my parenting skills are limited to just keeping them alive- none of this fancy crafting, baking, coloring, playing, imaginary games stuff. That is ok. I accept that is ok. The main thing that I have learned from being a child and having children is that showing up is probably one of, if not the, most important thing. Just show up in their lives, be a part of their lives in some capacity, and your children will feel it. I say I love you all the time, I hug, I ask questions, I sit and look at them, I go to their school when possible to help, I read to them every day for naps and bedtime, and I listen when they need/want to talk. I'm not perfect, but they don't need me to be. At the end of the day they know I am on their team, and that means a lot. 

I also surround them with family that loves them. This weekend Meg and cousin Lily were baptized by their great-grandfather-- how amazing and special.  There was a lot of extended family and my kids were blessed with their presence. I did not take any of these pictures- they were taken by a beautiful cousin who was able to capture so many special moments of us just being together. 

Thank you to everyone who just showed up. It meant a lot.