Life with a toddler

In case some of you have either forgotten or have not yet experienced life with a toddler I thought I would remind you.

- Your son won't cross the street without you carrying him because his father told him he was not allowed to walk in the street because the cars live there. However, he has no problem laying down in the street and crying
He spends half the day going over what is his, yours, and etc. This is a true testament that socialism/communism go against human nature
-When he learns he cannot have cake for breakfast, lunch or dinner he refuses to eat anything all day
-When asked questions like:Do you want to play? Do you want to lie down? Do you want mommy to leave? Do you want mommy to stay? Do you want the tv off? Do you want the tv on? --- Every single answer is no
- He loves more than anything to be naked and jump up and down on the bed
-He likes to hit or sit on the dog, especially when told not to
-He will go to the lamp and when you tell him not to unplug it, he smiles, puts his hands behind his back, and unplugs it thinking he has tricked you
- He will come into your bedroom with an empty bottle of lotion and smile. When you go into the living room you see that there is lotion all over the couch, table, carpet, and whatever toys were out
-He shoves as many dvds into the dvd player as possible
-He likes to put crayons in his nose
-He likes to color on the wall, table, chairs, couch, and himself with markers
-If you give him juice in a cup without the lid- he pours it out just for fun
- He loves to turn the dishwasher off if it is on and on if it is off
-He walks into the kitchen and takes every single thing out of the lower cabinets while I am cooking dinner and then he just leaves
- He can reach out of his bed, grab the motrin, take off the lid, and drink the whole bottle without saying a word or making any noise