Some days are good and some are bad

I haven't written in a bit and there are lots of reasons I am sure, but if I keep putting it off then I will keep putting it off. So here is a bit of what life has been like here over the past month.

The boys got to pick taters with Granny

We went trick-or-treating. We got a last minute phone call Halloween night asking if Jack could trick-or-treat with a friend, so I said yes. We discovered that we missed Jack terribly and it turns out he missed us, so next year we told him he is trick-or-treating with us no matter what. He didn't seem upset about this.

There were a few days there when I wasn't feeling too hot so we didn't get out all that often. I think the boys got a bit sick of staying inside because Luke, my child that dislikes going walk, asked if we could please go on a walk at the bog. I had to say yes, and I think we all felt better for it.

Then, minus going to story time at the library, we didn't do much for awhile because I have felt quite overwhelmed and tired. Jack has always been energetic and we have always known that it would be an issue later. It turns out that later is perhaps now. His teacher lets us know how Jack is doing on a weekly basis. He never sits in his seat. He just walks around the room. He talks out of turn all the time. As he teacher said- he has so much to share but he needs to learn when to share it. He stuffed a girl's shoes full of tissue paper and when asked why he said- I don't know. He misses silly problems on his school work because he just isn't paying attention. He sometimes just forgets to do whole problems because he doesn't realize they are there. At home with the addition of homework to his daily schedule things have been quite difficult for us. He gets home around 3:30pm and usually has three things he has to get done. 1. On Monday they get 6 spelling words for a spelling test on Friday, so we practice everyday. 2. A math worksheet  3. He has to read 20 minutes a day. Since we have him in chess he does have a few pages of chess to do a week but this is not every day. This is all and none of it is too difficult for him. It takes him about 2 minutes to do a math worksheet front and back once he gets to it. His spelling words he usually knows by Tuesday but we still go over them to make sure. The reading is the hardest part because he has to sit still to read and he would rather jump around, fidget, make random noises in the middle of reading, or skip over words as he reads. So what should take maybe 45 minutes at the absolute most takes 4 or 5 hours and a lot of screaming and crying by both him and me. It was getting ridiculous. After one particularly hard evening and an afternoon talk with this teacher about how he was getting to be a bit much in class we decided to take him to the doctor. I just want some help, some tips, some advice, and guidance because I have no idea what to do and it isn't fun for him either. We, his parents and teacher, were given a questionnaire to fill out. It was absolutely amazing how that whole form seemed to be about him. You rate the questions and they were like: 1. Runs about or climbs when remaining seated is expected  2. Interrupts in on other's conversations or activities 3. Dislikes or does not want to start tasks that require ongoing mental effort 4. Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
 Apparently, there is a co-morbidity that goes along with it and for Jack it seems like anxiety is his. We haven't gone back to the doctor yet, but I am sure this is just the beginning. We don't want him on medicine, at least not right away. We would like to try other methods before we resort to medicine. We have started a new behavior chart that goes hand in hand with his daily behavior chart at school. It worked quite well
last week so hopefully it continues. Also, we have decided to try to take as much sugar out of his diet as possible and add more protein. So, it has been tough here lately, but we are trying to work it out.

Also, we have made more of an effort to get outside anytime the weather permits. So today we went to the park.

My parenting style--LAZY

My children are crazy. I just thought you should know. They wake up crazy, spend the day being crazy, and go to bed crazy. For the most part I don't fight it--why should I? They enjoy being crazy. They wake up and demand to wear super hero costumes, masks, and capes. Sometimes they ask to just hang out in their pj's all day. They rarely brush their hair and for 2 of the 3 this isn't a problem because we buzz their hair, but the middle one has longer hair that might do well with a comb going through it. Of course, there are days when the middle one is obsessive in his use of a comb and how his hair looks, so much so, that he will use half of daddy's hair gel on his head to make himself look handsome.

 They pick out their own clothes and put them on. I could say this is to foster creativity or individuality or a sense of independence but really I think I am just lazy. Once I see they can even half way get dressed alone or the first time they show interest in what shirt to wear well, now they get to do it every day. Honestly, most of the time they do a good job, but sometimes people comment on how their shoes are on the wrong feet, their shirt, or pants are backwards and then tell me like I don't have eyes and can't see for myself what my children look like. Yeah well, my just barely 2 -year-old picked out his whole outfit and put his shoes on by himself, I think that is pretty good-especially since I didn't have to do it- and if it doesn't bother him then it doesn't bother me. Of course, sometimes when they pick out their clothes they just make everyone's day. Like when they wore super hero outfits to church, Target, the store, the library, and to pick Jack up from school. I think they made 200 people smile just by being kids.

We went to a children's museum where you can draw on your face or have an adult do it for you. Again, my kids ran over there and just started coloring their face in like it was a blank sheet of paper. Other people were turning their kids into butterflies, lions, or something else very recognizable. Now if I could draw and if my kids were totally different people then this probably would have been us too, but like I said, I am a bit lazy, so I just watched from afar as they went at it.

My do it for yourself parenting has perks because we refuse- ok I refuse- to carry my kids around or push them in a stroller once they are fully capable of walking any distance at all. Yes, sometimes it is slower, but it pays off because my kids can walk and I don't have to do anything!! Occasionally, when Thomas was still 1 I pulled out the stroller because I thought we may need it, but it ended up getting in the way far more often than being useful. This mentality may come from the fact that I do actually carry my children in a baby bjorn from the day we leave the hospital until they are 1ish, so perhaps I feel like I have carried them enough. No matter the reason it makes our walks these days awesome! I will add as a disclaimer that Luke didn't walk any distance at all until he was around 2 and it should be noted that he continues to have the most difficult time walking. His little brother was passing him up big time on the trails. Poor guy.

So sometimes I think my 'lazy' method of parenting really pays off but not everyone thinks so. I get all kinds of looks because my kids aren't always in a cart, or because I let Jack run around the store picking out things on my shopping list, or because when I am checking out they might be off looking at Redbox or trying to get free money out of the ATM. They are loud, they do run around, and they talk pretty freely about things, but  my way is just different than yours. It isn't right and it isn't wrong. It works for us and that is what really matters. So if you are at the store and you see two or three loud boys don't worry I will be there in a second to make sure they aren't knocking people or things down.

It is crazy up in here

Every 10 days or so we get an update from Jack's teacher about how things are going. They mostly say the same things: Jack stands up all during class, he never sits still, he doesn't pay attention, and he has to be reminded constantly to stay on task. I feel for the boy because none of it is intentional and he really wants to follow the rules but he just has too much energy. He is never bad or rude and luckily his teacher understands this because for his daily behavior chart he gets quite a lot of green stamps which means he hasn't broken any rules, but his inability to control his body, as we call it, is beginning to affect his school work. He skips problems on worksheets because he just doesn't notice them, he forgets to put his name on his paper, and he doesn't read the instructions all the way. As a lady who followed all the instructions/rules in class it is sometimes hard for me to relate to Jack's struggles in class. Pete says as long as Jack knows addition, for example, then just because he doesn't get an A on every worksheet doesn't matter and if he can learn addition while standing up then I need to let go of it. If Jack starts being bad and purposefully not following directions then we have a problem. It doesn't seem to bother Jack and he enjoys school so I am going with it.

Did you hear that I am having a girl?! I mean this is crazy. What am I going to do with a girl? I am so nervous. We have all decided that she is just going to have to be a tomboy. For starters I am not going to buy new baby clothes because it is really expensive to buy a whole new wardrobe for one child. She is going to be wrapped in blue blankets and people will be very confused when they see her. Secondly, Jack says she is going to have to love wrestling, throwing rocks, and riding on the John Deere. No matter what though she will be loved and Pete gets to have a little princess to spoil. She will definitely add a whole other dimension to our clan. It will be amusing to see how the boys react to having a little girl around. Pete has voiced concern about wiping a baby girl's bottom because you actually have to be careful and he wants to make sure she doesn't end up a stripper. I think those are his two main concerns at this point.

In other news we have decided to try and get out of the house and enjoy fall. We went to pick apples, we made apple butter,we rode on the Boilermaker Special, and went to Pappy's (on campus) to drink malts. We still want to go walking in the woods, visit a pumpkin patch, and do a few more fall things.We love fall around here. 

Boy or Girl? Criteria for new baby.

Wanted in new baby:
- able to wrestle
- able to wear super hero shirts
-able to be crazy
-able to put yucky stuff in hair
-able to draw on self
-able to be loud and crazy
-able to play monster games on the iPad


Well.....

Here's hoping little Miss Weigel is all the above and more.

My kids and my house are a mess, what about yours?

Recently I thought it was time for me to clean our glass door, it had been many months after all. Really, months. I wiped it, I cleaned it, and the smudges were gone. I took a step back to admire this amazing feat of house cleaning. At this moment my darling little Luke comes up and says, "It looks so good here, here, here, and here. It looks good in all the places." I wish I could say he said this while standing 10 ft. back but with each here, here, and here he was swiping his finger across the glass. Then for his final flourish when he said-it looks good in all the places- he used both hands to rub the whole glass, so I would know exactly where all the places were. Now I remember why I hadn't cleaned the glass in months. It took less than 10 seconds for it to look the exact same.

Yesterday I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, I put some laundry in the washing machine, and grabbed a few handful of toys threw them in a basket then grabbed a coke, put my feet up, looked around and said, "It is clean enough." That is my motto -it is clean enough. With three boys my house will never really be clean. All of our bathrooms smell like pee, every inch of carpet upstairs has sheets, blankets, pillows, and toys on it because our boys can't decide where they want to sleep but they know for sure it isn't in their own beds. My own room has cups, wrappers, markers, pens, old sucker sticks, and who knows what else because they treat our room as theirs. So if you ever come over you will probably not be invited upstairs because that is way too scary but if you come you are welcome downstairs so long as, it is clean enough, works for you, and if it doesn't you can stand outside.

Today I went upstairs to talk to Pete on the phone about his upcoming travel plans. The two younger boys were downstairs playing. I began to hear a lot of laughing, a little banging and knew I wouldn't love what I saw when I went downstairs, but I had no idea what it would be. I began to walk down the stairs when boom, there it was, I saw it. There was, and at the moment still is, glue, marker, and crayon all over all the walls, tables, and blinds. I was upstairs for like 10 minutes max. Oh my goodness. These kids are driving me bonkers. Here is a little sample of their artwork.

Naked Baby and Post Docs

With my tummy getting bigger the baby has become more of a topic of conversation with Luke and Thomas. I am asked everyday to lift up my shirt so they can see the baby. Then they begin to ask a lot of questions.After a couple weeks of questions a trend has emerged: Is the baby naked? Is the baby naked right now? Is it sleeping and naked? Is it naked when we go shopping? Is it naked in the bath? Is it naked at church? Does it have socks on?  Does it have shoes? Can you see his penis? To this I have to say, we don't know if the baby has a penis. If it has a penis then yes you can see the penis, and we can see it at the ultrasound in a couple weeks. If it doesn't have a penis that means it is a girl baby. In response to this I get a chorus of boys saying, I hope we see his penis. The boys want a brother, and I think they are quite jealous that they don't get to be naked near as often as the baby.

We have now entered the phase of Pete's schooling where he is applying for Post Docs. The first and main thing on his plate is applying for the NSF Grant. This would be the best opportunity for him. When applying for this grant Pete gets to pick who his supporting scientist would be. This gives him the chance to work with one of the top people in his area of math for 3 years with little to no teaching responsibilities. His top pick is a man named, Eliashberg, at Stanford. He recently got confirmation from Eliashberg that he would be willing to be his supporting scientist with the only minor maybe hitch being that he has also agreed to sponsor another student for the same grant. This shouldn't be a problem since the grant is awarded to multiple people from multiple institutions and there are no rules saying a supporting scientist is only allowed one student. Pete has very good references and has several talks at top institutions lined up over the next month plus his paper is being published in a well known journal, so things look good on paper and if it is meant to be it will happen. The next step is to apply to almost every university in the United States. There is a website dedicated to math jobs in academia where you can basically hit apply all. Once this is all done we wait. He should be done with applications some time in October/November and you find out the end of January or sometime in February.

The thought of moving to California is a bit overwhelming to me because of the cost. Oh my. Since it is the only university that I know is a definite possibility I have been looking up stuff online, and man it is expensive! We will still be students and the grant isn't for a lot of money, it is mostly the opportunity that you are applying for, not the money. Over half of that grant would go to rent with no opportunity to apply for students loans like we do now.  The thought knocks me down. Pete keeps talking it up, and I know living in California would do wonders for my seasonal depression, we would be near so many things that we aren't near now, and people who live there or have lived there talk about how much they love it, so it would be a lovely experience if we get the grant, I just wish it weren't so darn expensive.

Finally, I have ever so slowly waded into teaching Luke shapes with letters on the horizon. He is a very visual learner and learns in a slower and much different way than Jack. I have been looking online for how to teach visual learners. For shapes we are just doing 3 at time and have colored them, traced them, drawn them, and then made shape trees where he named, sorted, colored, and glued shapes onto trees. We are working on it. I am going to get around to making/buying shape bingo and shape memory. Then onto letters. The plus side is that Thomas is also learning things.

Here is a secret, I hate being pregnant

I thought being pregnant while having three kids would give me a lot to write about but as it turns out, not so much. It just makes me feel sick and horrible and not at all glowing. I envy these women who love pregnancy, who look good while pregnant, and can be trendy while pregnant, ok I say envy but maybe hate is a better word. I detest being pregnant, I told myself that I would do my best to thoroughly enjoy this pregnancy because I plan for it to be my last one. I would drink in and savor the miracle that is being made in my body, but this is not happening. I lay in bed and I bitch and moan to anyone that will listen, including my almost 2-year-old. I don't think he gets it though because he usually just kicks me in the stomach and then does a backward head butt. My beauty is not strengthened by pregnancy- not at all. I don't stay thin and just get a cute little belly that people expect a thin short person to get. I get wide all over and my belly is just extra round wideness on top of that. I get acne. I was brushing my teeth one morning and my husband said, 'Oh, you have a lot of acne right now.' Yup, thanks. This was then later followed up by my three-year-old saying,' Mommy, you have lots of owies on your face.' Yes, I know. My genetic under eye circles get darker and my normally wonderful hair gets brittle and dry, hair is supposed to become more luxurious during pregnancy-not less. So when I meet someone who just gushes about being pregnant it takes almost every thing I have to hold my hand down so I don't just smack them in the face. Let's hope I don't ever have a girl because if I do and she tells me she is pregnant I will say, ' That is great news, I am so excited, and I am so sorry for you.' I will work on it though, I have time.

I cook because I have to or my children would starve though trust me I have debated on, and have on one or two nights, offered up cheese sticks, fruit, chips, and whatever else they get out of the fridge for dinner. Last night Papa Johns had buy one pizza get one pizza free so I was all over that. Added bonus, I don't have to make breakfast in the morning, scratch that, Jack doesn' t have to make breakfast in the morning because I leave the pizza box out and they all love day old pizza for breakfast. Win -Win. As to leaving stuff out, I used to clean up and get the kids to help me clean up before bed so the place was ready to be demolished the next day. Something my husband doesn't understand at all. Now I scan the room for stuff that could trip me and clean that up (you know cars, blocks, or larger toys) but everything else just stays on the floor. My husband doesn't care or clean up so it just stays there. The carpet is in dire need of steam cleaning but it is my job to rent a steam vac, and frankly I don't have it in me, so I hope our new baby doesn't mind lying on a nasty dirty floor, ok I will put a blanket down first.

After my cerclage I have had these horrible headaches everyday. I don't tolerate pain well, ask my husband, I like to take my pain out on others. I am not the nicest lady or best mom when my head hurts that much. I have prayed about it and become more aware of this fact, but let's just say I was greatly pleased when my doctor gave me medicine for these headaches. I hope it helps, they should because when Pete gave them to me he said, ' Please make sure these are out of the reach of our kids because they are pretty powerful.' That gives me hope especially when he added, ' This stuff killed Marilyn Monroe.' Hopefully it kills my headaches.

At Christmas we got an iPad so I have severely limited my kids tv time because they also use the iPad. A month or so ago Pete said, 'Remember how when Jack was little you used to let him watch a movie everyday? Now you never put movies in for the kids during the day." I was proud of this fact, but this week my pregnancy has overwhelmed me, so my kids have started getting movies again so I can chill on the couch drinking water. Plus, when Pete is home they get iPad time.

 During my pregnancies I won't win mother of the year awards but my children do learn how to be very independent because if they want it they have to just do it or get it. So after all of this I am wondering why in the world I would do this to myself again?!

Well, today I went to Mass and at the end they stop playing instruments and just have all the kids sing- it is truly beautiful and I tear up. I glanced over at Jack's class to watch him sing, instead he had his hands clasped together like a gun and was blasting things in the church. I just had to smile. Yeah, that is my son. It is for all those moments that I just look at my kids and smile that I decided to have another kid. That doesn't mean that I enjoy pregnancy though because as much as I wish I did or could- I just really don't.

16 weeks