Say it ain't so

Last night I was upstairs with Jack, helping him brush his teeth, when he told me some startling news. This was news I was nowhere ready to hear and did not expect to be hearing it anytime soon. I have a girlfriend. Nope, no way, nada, I don't think so. I took a deep breath and shook it off-surely he means he has friends who are girls. Yes, that is what he means. Then I look at him and ask him to clarify: girl who is a friend or girlfriend? He looks at me and says-girlfriend. Hmm... Ok, well really what is a girlfriend in kindergarten? I mean just a girl you call girlfriend right? You think she is pretty, you want to pull her pigtails, and maybe make her scream by shoving a frog in her face. So I ask him what exactly a girlfriend is? I mean he may not even know what that word means. He looks at me like I am an idiot. Then he says-A girl you might marry one day. Deep slow breaths. Deep slow breaths. Well, yeah I guess he does know what a girlfriend is. Then I ask him how he knows she is his girlfriend. He says-we hold hands all the time and there is even a rule about not doing it but we do it anyway. Again I repeat--NOPE, NO WAY, NADA, I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!  Maybe I passed out for a minute, maybe I turned white, maybe I turned red, maybe I yelled-THAT GIRL MAKES YOU HOLD HER HAND?! I don't really remember. The next thing I remember is him still talking about how last year at Montessori a couple people had girlfriends but he didn't. I just sort of nod and say in a slow calm voice- I am glad you waited.

Now my head is swimming with all sorts of things like= no kissing, no sex, no babies, respect, does he know how to treat a girl with respect, I haven't even gotten around to that yet, I bet that girl is tricking him, wait -no that is mean, and all types of crazy thoughts that are probably overly exaggerated for a simple kindergarten girlfriend. Then I think- Where is Pete? I need Pete.

Let me just say Pete was not on the same page as me at all. When I called Pete he was proud that Jack had a girlfriend in kindergarten because Pete didn't have his first girlfriend until 2nd grade. What?! No no no. Then he says maybe this is why Jack has been acting better at school this week-he needed a girl to reign him in and exert a positive influence over him. Again-No, no, no.

To top it off, this morning when I took Jack to school he told me I didn't need to walk him to class or even into the building because he knew the way. So I was left standing on the sidewalk just watching him walk away.

Deep Slow Breaths, Deep Slow Breaths, Deep Slow Breaths.