Why is it that a child knows the gravity of the word sorry before they can even speak? Luke refuses to say sorry. A couple months ago when we started prompting him to say or sign it when he hurt Thomas or us he refused. We thought it was just that he couldn't talk so we let it slide with a reminder to him that he needed to say sorry when he made someone sad or hurt them. We tried teaching him the sign and again he refused to even lift his hand. Maybe he just didn't understand or maybe he didn't like being forced to try to speak. However, we noticed and had been noticing something from the very beginning, he understood sorry was in someway admitting a defeat or acknowledging you were wrong because he would turn down his eyes or turn his head away. When we would give up he would get this smile on his face that said-- I won. I would put Luke in timeout if he refused to say sorry and he would scream and cry and throw a fit, but still refuse to say sorry. I would leave him in there for a couple rounds of timeout just to show him that saying sorry is important, but still he refused. A couple times he has even said no when we tell him to say sorry. We tried modifying it to just give a hug and kiss. He would not even do this. He would however, find a nearby toy and kiss or hug that. Pete asked Luke to show Thomas how to say sorry and Luke signed it-- but on Thomas-this way Luke was still not saying it. He had thrown a toy at Pete but refused to say sorry to Pete but he did pick up the toy, after quite a few minutes, and sign sorry on the toy. When he broke Pete's coffee pot yesterday we told him to say sorry and all we got was the eyes turned down look. The child is stubborn. He might beat us yet.
Jack is discovering that girls are different. Jack got his class pictures taken last month and in the package was a picture of the entire class. Right away he started carrying it around everywhere. He was naming off everyone in the picture, but seemed to be focusing a lot on the girls. Then he started asking which girl I thought was the prettiest. At first I thought that he had a favorite and was intrigued to find out where this was going so I didn't discourage it right away. Then he began listing them in order from prettiest to least. I could see that things were going down hill fast. He asked me to do the same. I tried to say that just because a girl is pretty doesn't mean that she is nice so liking girls just because they are pretty isn't the best thing to do. He informed me that all the girls were nice so would I tell him which was the prettiest? I was not handling this in the best way. Then I found out from the group of girls themselves that he had been calling them names. These girls were not pleased because they had asked him to stop and he wouldn't. These names were things like Buttons and Zip-Zap. I tried to explain that girls don't think these things are funny, they don't like it, and it could hurt their feelings and it wasn't our job to make people feel bad. Pete has also had some talks with him. I really can't tell if we are making headway. I do know that he saw some college cheerleaders on tv over the weekend and said--'Look Mom, Girls.'
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