Life with Jack

You know you live with a 2-yr. old when the following things happen:
-At 6am he stands on your bed and tells you, "I have a big stinky poop. Change me!"
-You go into the kitchen to throw diaper away when you notice the refrigerator is wide open, the crisper doors are on the floor, the veggies are in the sink, and your son is eating tortillas.
-I don't do mornings well, and I especially don't do waking up at 6am well. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. I get a wet toy helicopter in my nose as a wake up call.
-I doze again and wake to the microwave timer being set. This means he is standing on the dishwasher.
-When he comes in notice something out of the corner of my eye- the walls are covered in dry erase marker. When I go over to clean it up I notice that the table and the chairs and my son are also covered in dry erase marker.
-When entering the kitchen again I notice that he dumped all of Tigran's water into Tigran's food bowl so we have a very wet kitchen floor and wet dog food floating in the bowl.
- This is all before 8am.